It’s the last of many. The last blog I’ll probably get around to writing before the babies arrive. The last time Pat and I will go out for a meal without 3 babies with us or at home waiting. The last time we will have a weekend just to ourselves.
Is this me being selfish? Am I really ready for what’s ahead? Or is this completely normal? Does every person about to become a parent feel this way?
When I wrote my first blog I remember feeling so many mixed emotions. I was overwhelmed, scared, relieved I could actually get pregnant, excited and even a bit numb. Although time seemed to heal some of those feelings and allow us to get our head around what was ahead.
Having said that, they seem to be back in full force. Whilst I’m so excited, I’m also terrified. I’m sure every parent would go through this feeling, whether they have 1 or 10 children. We’ve have many last times of something but we’re also experiencing something for the very first time. Parenting. We will now be purely responsible for 3 little humans. We won’t be able to give them back at the end of the day, or quit when we’ve had enough. It’s completely up to us. Although that’s a bit scary, it’s also pretty bloody amazing.
Now it’s time to have a first. Whatever this next chapter brings us, it will be a first time of many experiences. I’m ok we won’t be able to go out for a meal or have a weekend away in peace. This is bigger than that. We’re ready as we will ever be. It’s going to be the hardest yet most rewarding job we’ll ever do.
We have a scan next Thursday which will be at 33 weeks and 4 days. The scan will tell how they’re growing and when we are going to have these little babies. I’m hoping to hold on until past 34 weeks…fingers are crossed.
If you would like to see other updates on the triplets progress, check out my instagram page: https://instagram.com/emma.leyden/
The 12 week scan changed everything. At this point it became so much more than a concept or an idea. It’s no longer about me. It’s about these little humans growing inside of me.
We had been continually told to prepare ourselves for losing 1, 2 or all 3 of the babies in the first trimester. But we didn’t. The 12 week scan was so much more than identifying if any of the babies had down syndrome, it was about seeing if this pregnancy was actually real. And it is, they were all there and doing so incredibly well. We saw so much more than the black hole and hearing the heart beats which we had previously seen and heard in the 4 and 8 week scans. We saw whole humans in there…and 3 of them. They were all stacked neatly on top of each other with the bottom two sucking their thumbs and the top triplet sucking his/her fingers. We saw legs, arms, hearts, kidney’s, heads…everything you expect to see at 12 weeks. It was truly incredible.
We were told that if I was to carry triplets, we’ve given them the perfect combination. This meaning that the triplets were all fraternal, living in their own sacks with their own food supply. Our risk of various things going wrong had dramatically reduced. Although our risk hadn’t disappeared completely, it was considerably lowered. These words out of the doctors mouth was exactly what we needed to hear. The weight which we had been carrying around for the first 3 months had been lifted.
From this point it didn’t matter if I couldn’t go on my runs. It didn’t matter if I couldn’t drink alcohol at the numerous weddings, hen parties, engagement parties and birthday parties we had (including Pat’s 30th). It didn’t even matter if I wanted that coffee (or 2) a day. All that mattered was that these 3 little darlings could grow, develop and were given the best chance at life.
On reflection, I was completely selfish in the first trimester. I was sort of in denial that no matter what I did, they wouldn’t be able to survive, so I thought I may as well just carry on with my life. The stats scared me. So if I wanted a wine I had one. If I wanted to go for a 10km run, I did. If I wanted to coffee, I most definitely didn’t deprive myself of it. Now everything has changed. I wouldn’t dream of doing anything that could possibly damage or hurt these babies. They were real and ours and we are completely responsible for them. So if they want a chocolate chip cookie…they get one 🙂
Now it’s great. Whilst I’m growing quickly, I feel great. I’m not always hungry or wanting to vomit or even that tired. I’m now at 17 weeks and things are most definitely looking up…I’ll fill you in on the last 5 week in the next blog.